Where can I start with Blue Is The Warmest Color, just absolutely raw, honest, beautiful, and utterly heart wrenching.  This movie hit really close to home.  I just couldn’t believe how the director captured the vulnerability of the two lovers.  You feel as though you are a part of the relationship between Adele and Emma.

Time was pretty ambiguous, it was hard to fully wrap your head around how much time had passed from start to finish.  There would be little subtle hints but you had to pay very close attention to them so even somewhat construct a timeline.  Other than that I am absolutely enthralled with the cinematography of the entire film.  How they were able to catch such close up details and such passion.

This movie is by far one of the best films I have seen in a really long time.  I felt like I was falling in love with both of them separately and together as one entity.  I couldn’t peel my eyes from the screen, that also may have been because the awe inspiring sex scenes between Léa Seydoux and Adèle Exarchopoulos.

Please please please I’m begging you if you have not seen this movie yet and it’s playing in a theater near you go and see it.  You will not be disappointed.

-A

So if you have Netflix and you want to watch a super fucked up movie then I’m gonna go ahead and suggest you watch The Woman like now.  Definitely a really good movie that has come out within the last 2 years.  Cast line up isn’t star studded but the performance that they bring is outstanding.

The beginning kind of starts out slow but is developing the story in a really dynamic way.  You get to be enveloped in the workings of each characters mindset for the most part and come for sympathize, particularly with the female roles.

It gets really hard to watch at times because you feel for the characters and the predicaments that are placed upon them due to the sadistic father.  And not to give away then ending but get ready to see an awesome and well deserved killing spree.  This movie is by far one of the best recently made movies I’ve seen in awhile.

I don’t know about you guys but anytime I see Danny Trejo all I can think about is ‘Spy Kids’ and it makes it really hard for me to think of his character Machete as a badass cause I’m like, ‘Dude you were in ‘Spy Kids’ you can’t be a murdering, pussy magnet mother fucker cause you were in ‘SPY KIDS’.’  And then Alexa Vega shows up and I’m like ‘What the fuck you were in Spy Kids now you are a character that works in a brothel….WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED?! Did the spy game really fuck you up?!’

The times I could kind of look past it, there was just a whole bunch of ‘what the fuck moments’.  Lets start out with Charlie Sheen…he’s the fucking president in this movie…like what?!?!!  There’s also this crazy cast behind him too like Amber Heard, Lady Gaga, Antonio Banderas, Mel Gibson, Cuba Gooding Jr., Vanessa Hudgens, and the every so hottest of the hot lesbian wet dream Michelle Rodriguez!!  I literally cream my panties anytime she comes on the screen.

Back to the movie though, there is tons of action and gore, which adds to the grindhouse feel that the director is going for.  The dialogue is cheesy, the effects are kind of cheesy and it gets a little over the top.  Some moments are worth it more than others but only reason I’d suggest seeing it is to see the strap on, double ds, and Michelle Rodriguez!

Elysium 


I really don’t have a lot to say, it was an action movie, and you got an action movie. This review will be short and sweet. 

If we’re being completely honest here, I expected this movie to be horrible, and while it was an extremely pricy commentary on border control, and immigration rights/issues, it wasn’t half bad. 

The action sequences in this film were amazing, I was enthralled throughout each one. Fast paced, violent, and very good use of the camera, including some interesting techniques.

While not being entirely engaged by the actual story, the pacing of this movie kept me interested and on the edge of my seat. 

-c

Clair’s Most Anticipated Films of the Fall, Winter Seasons 2013

I’ve seen a handful of fabulous looking movie trailers lately, so of course I want to talk about what I want to see. 

Kick Ass 2 

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I thoroughly enjoyed the first Kick Ass movie, and I am just excited to see how they wrap up this franchise, and what new things they can offer. You can only do so much with the characters that were developed in the first film, and I really just want to see Jim Carrey act like a crazy patriotic nut job. 

The World’s End

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Don’t lie, you loved Shaun of the Dead, you love Hot Fuzz, and you’re excited to see these two in action again. 

Prisoners

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What can I say, I love suspenseful dramatic films, they make me sit up straight and get all panic-y. Prisoners appears to have an impressive cast, I fear Gyllenhaal will give a similar performance to his other cop dramas, BUT I have big lesbian crush on him, so I’ll get over it. Also Paul Dano, he has never let me down. 

Gravity

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This movie will probably be horrible, but the trailer somehow got me interested. I just want to know what it will offer. 

Kill Your Darlings


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It looks like DanRad may have finally learned how to act!

Anchorman 2: The Legend Continues


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You, me, and everyone we know have been stuck in a glass box of emotion waiting for this movie to come to us. The comedic genius of the first movie hopefully won’t over shine this one. 

The Secret Life of Walter Mitty

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I tend to hate remakes, but Ben Stiller in a role that looks like something he’s never done before should be interesting. And the trailer was absolutely captivating. 

One Direction: This is Us

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just kidding, fuck one direction.

We’re The Millers

The story of a fake family brought together to smuggle drugs back into the promise land, but of course, things go wrong and shit goes down. 

I’m just going to go ahead and start with the things I liked about this film. The cast, for the most part this movie was very well casted, with the exception of Ed Helms, who I will never believe to be a drug kingpin. 

At the beginning of the film before Jason Sedeikis takes on his role of David Miller he can be seen wearing an Oklahoma Joe’s Barbecue t-shirt, and an Arthur Bryants Barbecue t-shirt, a little hometown loving from this Overland Park native! And I have to say  I FUCKING MISS OK JOE’S BBQ! That shit rocks. 

I have to admit I was very appreciative of Jennifer Aniston dancing half naked, dousing herself with water, and continuing to dance. I could watch that scene a few more times without getting bored. 

Now onto the other stuff. 

While this movie had it’s fabulous comedic moments, they were few and far between. A lot of moments seemed to fall flat, which was very disappointing considering the cast.

The storyline was very predictable, and offered more than I wanted. Why can’t there be a movie that doesn’t contain a fucking love story these days? Why can’t we just have a fucking comedy? The love story was boring, and made very apparent within the first ten minutes of the movie. The ‘family’ bonding, boring, predictable, just another fucking love story paired alongside the main love story. 

And just a little technical thing, because I’m like that, the very few moments in which dubbed audio was present, it was absolutely terrible. Obviously placed in post, obviously recorded at a separate time, in a different setting.

Even being predictable and a little flat, I did enjoy this movie. It was a nice little break from reality and offered a few good laughs. 

Wait until it comes out on DVD…….

-C

Orange is the New Black


Wow, I promised this review a while back, but I’ve been a bit busy moving (wallowing in the sadness that is being alone in a new city) and I’ve not had a chance to get around to it. 

But holy shit has this show become quite the sensation since I sat down and watched the first few episodes. 

I think this show is great! First things first, when was the last time you saw a prison drama based around women? Let that stew for a moment. It really was a nice change of pace to see this topic taken on in such a successful way. 

When I first heard about this show and noticed it was created by Jenji Kohan, the creator of Weeds, I was convinced that she never got to show Nancy Botwin in jail during Weeds’ time, and this was her way of finally getting to make that season. AND THERE ARE things still that make me believe that was kind of her mind set, but I’ll let that go. 

I thoroughly enjoyed how this show handled the topic of prison, while it had it’s obviously dramatic moments (it’s television, there has to be some ridiculous things) I felt like it really gave the viewers a look into a world most of them will never experience. Actually, I feel like the season began that way, and then took the turn into purely dramatic moments for viewers enjoyments. 

All of the actors did a very good job in their roles, I personally don’t have the greatest things to say towards the casting of Taylor Schilling, but whatever, she wasn’t horrible I guess…..The main characters, or the characters who have a larger presence in the show, were fully developed, which is rare in television shows, I think. Also to the shows creators, MAD PROPS on casting a trans woman to play a trans woman, I don’t think I’ve ever seen that. And the way Sophia’s story was handled was amazing. 

This show had an extraordinarily unexpected amount of lesbian……I mean I am not complaining, come on Laura Prepon getting down and dirty with another lady, who the fuck is going to complain about that? No one. Back to the topic at hand, it was unexpected the show was not, if I remember correctly, advertised as an LGBT dramatic series, but holy shit was it. 

All in all, I really liked this first season of Orange is the New Black, I heard it was picked up for a second season which excites me, can’t wait to see where it goes. HOWEVER I really like the first few seasons of Weeds, if Jenji Kohan drops this show into the deepest pile of shit ever like she did with Weeds, I will be extremely upset and question her abilities as a film maker. Learn from your mistakes people!

WATCH THIS SHOW!

I’m sure you already have, fucking everyone has, but shit. WATCH IT AGAIN!

-c

As someone who has for the most part of her life been concerned with the way we treat our environment and the lack of concern the majority of society has towards their impact on the environment, The East was a treat to say the least.  The premise of the film is about a group of ecoterrorist, who call themselves The East, and how a private undercover agent infiltrates the group.

I feel a bit biased reviewing this film, mostly for the fact that if I had bigger balls I’d be way into doing the acts that The East performs.  The idea of giving the corporations a taste of their own medicine, no pun intended, is a fantastic idea.  It shows what money has really done to our society and how we’ve almost built an entire foundation on it, even though it’s really worth nothing.

Off topic, but yeah so the actual production of the film is done really well and the cast is pretty easy on the eyes.  You obviously are going to get some stupid cheesy love story thrown in there but who cares just think that its all for the better good of our environment.

Now jump on in and take a swim with The East.

-A

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Oh man where do I even start on The Bling Ring?!  Just pure gold!  I remember watching Pretty Wild when I was younger and just thinking these bitches are fucking crazy!  So you can only imagine how insane the movie gets.  All the actors delivered on their parts, definitely channeling their characters.

Sophie Coppola does an amazing job at selling you this lifestyle.  She makes it all look so beautiful and dreamy and perfect.  Even if you don’t want that lifestyle at all you leave the theater wanting to go rob some celebrity, even though we all are firm believers in karma.

Definite must see!

-A